Hidden Brain at Home

BY ANDREW DAVIS

Last week, I attended the National Association of Independent Schools conference in Nashville. While I was there primarily for a session on AI in independent schools (more on that later), I also enjoyed the keynote speakers, including Hidden Brain host Shankar Vedantam. His talk felt like a live episode of his podcast—engaging stories, sharp insights, and his signature mellifluous voice.

One of Vedantam’s examples came from one of the most emailed New York Times articles ever: “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage.” The author, frustrated by her husband’s habit of leaving laundry on the floor, borrowed a strategy from animal trainers—ignore bad behavior and praise good behavior. The audience of 3,000 chuckled as Vedantam explained that for this approach to work, praise must be specific and authentic.

I immediately thought of our front entryway, a daily obstacle course of shoes, school backpacks, soccer backpacks, baseball backpacks, and the occasional basketball. Most days, it’s just an annoyance, but lately, it’s become a safety hazard as my spouse recovers from a torn ACL (which, I may or may not have had something to do with—but that’s another story).

My go-to strategy has always been to bark, “Come clean up the hall!” And given Robin’s knee, I’ve escalated from barking to yelling. But as I listened to Vedantam, I snapped a picture of his slide, texted it to Robin, and wrote, “I think I need to try this.”

Four days in, and one of my two offending animals—sorry, children—has already shown tremendous progress.

I share this because I imagine you have your own version of socks on the floor or backpacks in the hall. Our children are animals. If you want an animal to change, ignore the mistakes and praise the successes. And if you catch your spouse praising you for putting your dirty clothes in the hamper rather than on the chair next to it, remember: you’re an animal too.

TGIAM is the blog of Andrew Davis, Head of School. TGIAM = Thank Goodness It's Almost Monday.